Wordsmith Holler

Original Pulp Fiction

Category: My Craft

  • Lap of Luxury

    Lap of Luxury

    I emerged from the warmth 63,113,904 seconds ago. So, yeah, roughly two years. Right now, I am enjoying a bottle of apple juice sitting in the lap of my mother, the fourth one in seven years. The juice isn’t whiskey, but it will do.

    Four mothers? Well, I am on a mission to avenge my murder from the first time I was here. So far I keep finding ways to die. Eternal life lives up to the hype; it’s endless. Luckily, I keep returning as a human. It could be worse; I could be coming back as a mutt.

    Anyway, I assume you still care? After my murder, I came back as a 7-pound 11-ounce bouncing baby boy. Lucky number, yes? Not so lucky for me.

    My first mom found me dead at the bottom of a three-story fall. My second mom lost me at the beach where I drowned. The third mom actually suffocated me when she rolled over in a meth haze. This mom has a lap of luxury; warm, ample, and a pleasurable seat. I could sit here forever. In fact, I plan to take things a bit slower this time and finally exact my revenge.

    How was I murdered? Interesting story actually.

    I was a 27-year-old stock broker really hitting my stride and making a ton of money. I had the fancy car, the smoking-hot girlfriend, and an apartment overlooking the park. Nothing could slow me. All I touched turned gold. I really had the life.

    The whole business works off of tips and timing. You think it is all good luck? Sure, luck plays a part, but knowing when a stock will take off certainly helps. I had spies and tipsters everywhere.

    What did they get out of it? I never paid them directly. Put it this way: they made money if I helped them bump the stock. Pump it and dump it. A lot of money was made that way.

    My murder? Oh, yeah, I was coming to that.

    One of my tips crapped out. A sure thing broke into a million pieces causing the stock to go negative. I felt bad. It hurt a lot of people and not only my rich clients. A few friends from the neighborhood took a bath too. And one of those guys decided to shake me down for his money.

    I was leaving my mom’s. Not one of these recent moms. My real mom. She handed me some leftover lasagna and a bag of rolls as I left the old house. I kissed her on the forehead and headed for my car around the corner. I dropped the bag of rolls and the lasagna when three guys shoved me into a van. The plastic bowl holding the leftovers bounced into the gutter and the rolls scattered over the sidewalk. I tried to shout. The guys pushed me down and covered my mouth with a rag.

    I passed out I guess because I don’t remember taking a drive. I woke up hanging off the Williamsburg Bridge looking over at the Domino Sugar factory wondering what was up.

    They gave me a breath, a squirm, and a shout. That’s all. I barely knew what was going on before they let go and I splashed into the East River. I can only assume I splashed into the river. The shock stopped my heart and I woke up nine months later as a baby.

    How did I know I was murdered? You never forget something like that and I knew I needed to make it right. Only, I can’t walk very well and my eye-hand coordination sucks. For instance, I know how to use this cell phone, but I can’t get my stubby fingers to sync with my brain and send a message. So, I just sit here sucking on this bottle and looking cute.

    Why don’t I get help? I already covered that. I can’t put two words together into a coherent sentence, I can’t walk long distances, and I’m two years old. The only reason I’m telling you this is because you’re the only one who will listen.

    Don’t you want to hear the rest? Hey, come back.

    Stupid dog. I was talking to you. When I reach five, I’m going to take you for a walk and leave you at the park.

    This juice is really good. And I am sort of sleepy. I think I’ll just rest here in this lap.


    If you liked this story, check out Cindy’s Sin, the first novelette I wrote about a girl traveling to Las Vegas to get revenge.

    Read more: Lap of Luxury
  • A Cold, Wet, Sticky Package

    A Cold, Wet, Sticky Package

    She parked in the dead end and eyed the front door in the mirror. A green door with a cotton boll wreath and a ‘welcome to our home’ sign in the center. The door made the house inviting and the recent deliveries piled up in front of it made it more inviting. She looked around. The only thing she saw was a white wire reindeer, holiday ribbons, and an inflated Santa Claus bouncing in the wind. The driveways were empty including the driveway in front of the house with the packages. It would be too easy.

    She opened her door and sprinted to the green door. She inventoried the packages and weighed each in her mind. She then reached down to pick one up.

    “I wouldn’t do that,” came a voice from above her. She looked for the voice and failed to find anyone near. She hesitated before running back to the car with the package.

    “You’re going to regret that. I can see your face,” the voice faded as she reached the car.

    With the package in hand, the woman rounded the cul-de-sac and rushed out of the neighborhood.

    At a nearby park, she sat with the package on the passenger seat anticipating the treasure inside. This was the best part. She only took the small packages because they usually held something she could use and something the true recipient could do without. This one felt a bit heavier than usual. Maybe it held something real good?

    She tore off the tape and stuck her hands into the package. She felt something cold, wet, and sticky. She pulled her hands out and found them covered in dog shit. Cold, wet, sticky, nasty dog crap and blood.

    “Yuck!”

    The remaining packages sat near the green door waiting for the next thief and all of them contained something messy and ugly. Our homeowner spied the woman’s face on his phone. Lovely. She likely won’t come back. Too bad she only took the small box. The biggest package contained the head of the last guy who tried to steal from him. A cold, wet, sticky, nasty, bloody head.

    Read more: A Cold, Wet, Sticky Package
  • The Importance of Knowing Genre Before You Dive into NaNoWriMo

    The Importance of Knowing Genre Before You Dive into NaNoWriMo

    The mark of a professional writer, is they know the genre of their story and the arc it will take. At least that is what Shawn Coyne says in his book “The Story Grid.” Coyne probably knows something about this because as an editor he has looked at enough fiction to determine if it is a finished and publishable novel. He created the Story Grid to weed out the scenes that just didn’t meet the expectations of the genre.

    Now, as a mere amateur, I had it in my head there were roughly five main genres you can choose from: Mystery, Crime, Thriller, Western, and Romance. Oh, no, there are many genres and they all have their absolutes, needs, and conventions.

    Silly me, I thought you just got the hero in a predicament and through him to the wolves.

    Which explains why my latest attempt at winning NaNoWriMo failed: despite efforts to plan, I just didn’t know what came next.

    I tried writing a Nicholas Sparks-type of story, which contained less romance and more Hero’s Journey stuff with a girlfriend thrown in for good measure. The fact I was calling it a “Nicholas Sparks-type of story” should have been a clue I didn’t understand my genre.

    But, unlike past times, when I just pants away, I honestly felt smug for plotting it out and knowing there should be plotted, pivot, and danger points. I knew my hook, my turning point, and my end. I give myself credit for doing a lot more than the last time.

    Still, I didn’t understand my genre, and this was my downfall.

    So, back to the drawing board after 6,000 words. And a little research.

    Turns out I was attempting to write a Performance genre story with an inner Wordview genre theme. This genre requires certain things to happen and certain characters to make the story work. And after understanding some of this, I now know why I hit the wall when I got to the mid-point. I had left out key parts of the genre.

    I’m working out some of those points and already seeing how this story can begin. It is important to understand the nuts-and-bolts of the story. You can rely on instinct to get started, but you really need to plot, plan, and take the story apart before you write.

    I’m just glad I stopped NaNoWriMo before I failed. Now, I can get back to work and have something I can be proud of editing next spring.

    Read more: The Importance of Knowing Genre Before You Dive into NaNoWriMo
  • Jake Rutledge and the Guy With Bad Timing: Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing – Part Six

    Jake Rutledge and the Guy With Bad Timing: Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing – Part Six

    The airmen formed up like an F-16 to storm the diner. I kept tabs on them from the street as they poked, prodded, and shoved the farmers. Shortly, the biggest airmen came out.

    “He’s not here.” I figured he missed the storm cellar. “Try the basement,” I said.

    Colonel Cox pointed at the diner and the soldier ran back inside. I saw Sally point to the floor and a line of blue airmen disappeared into the basement.

    After ten minutes, the big guy came out again.

    “He’s not in there.”

    “What are you pulling?” Colonel Cox said. He didn’t give me the impression it thrilled him.

    “He was lying down there earlier,” I poked around the room. “He couldn’t have gone too far.”

    “Why don’t you show us.” The Colonel pushed me from behind toward the diner.

    I led him and the rest of the Air Force’s finest down the stairs into the basement. The farmers watched us pass, and each one was whispering. I’m sure this was the most excitement any of them had in a long time.

    The basement was full of shadows and it took a while for my eyes to adjust. I thought about the contacts in my pocket and made sure they were still there. Through the dancing light, I could recognize Dan’s outline where I had left him.

    “He’s right there.” I’ll admit I had a snarky tone in my voice. I was thinking how stupid were these people?

    “You mean this pile of clothes,” an airman said. He surprised me.

    I rushed over to where Dan had been bleeding an hour ago and where I found him lying on the table. There was nothing but his clothes.

    “Someone had to take him!”

    It made little sense. He was lying right there and now there was nothing.

    “Detain this asshole and make sure he doesn’t disappear,” Colonel Cox said. “Funny guy. Maybe a trip to base can help clear your memory. Or, you can sit in the brig and think about it.”

    The giant airman grabbed me from behind and pinned my arms. I tried to run. Too bad he was stronger and faster. We climbed out of the basement with me in handcuffs.

    “Jake, what’s going on?”

    “Just a quick field trip to see what kind of steak they serve in the Air Force,” I said. “How do you like yours? I’ll bring one back.”

    “Don’t count on it, miss,” Colonel Cox said. “He’s likely to be locked up for a while.”

    They shoved me into the van and I found Charlie waiting in the corner for me.

    “They got you too?”

    “Yep,” Charlie said. “Those airmen don’t like a pitchfork in the ass.”

    “Dan’s gone,” I said. “Apparently, he wasn’t as dead as I thought.”

    The truck lurched forward, and we moved toward the air base.

    “We’ll it looks like we’re on our way,” I said. “We should be able to find figure all this out in no time.”

    Part One – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Two – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Three – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Four – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Five – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Six – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Seven – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Eight – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Nine – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing

    Read more: Jake Rutledge and the Guy With Bad Timing: Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing – Part Six
  • Letters Never Meant to be Read Vol. III

    Letters Never Meant to be Read Vol. III

    I received some good news today regarding my contribution to Letters Never Meant to be Read Vol. III. The book is now LIVE on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Very exciting stuff to find yourself published in an anthology. I wrote my letter a while ago and it was picked up for inclusion in the book.

    Have you ever wanted to write a letter to that guy or gal you brushed up against on the train? How about that lost love, or the friend who did you wrong?

    This collection contains those letters. I think you will like it.

    Read more: Letters Never Meant to be Read Vol. III
  • Jake Rutledge and the Guy With Bad Timing: Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing – Part Five

    Jake Rutledge and the Guy With Bad Timing: Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing – Part Five

    It never fails. Sally took longer than I thought she needed to pour the coffee. I was mad and irritated. I looked around at the faces in the diner. I was so happy everyone could gather at their usual breakfast spot and act like nothing had happened. They were all assholes.

    I held me head. I felt like someone made me suck on an exhaust pipe all night long. And my brother Dan, the weatherman, lay below us dead in the basement. Not that anyone around here seemed to care.

    Charlie buttered a biscuit while I tore open three packets of sugar into my coffee. I stirred the black syrup, and I cracked my neck. I let out a long yawn and tried to recover from my malaise.

    The farmer next to me tore into his breakfast with his knife and fork like he was ringing a bell.

    “Those good eggs?” I asked.

    “Yes.”

    “You know there’s a dead guy below you, right?”

    He stopped in mid-bite and slowly brought the fork to his plate. He struggled to see past his boots and the floor.

    “No. I didn’t.”

    “Don’t worry about it,” I said. There was no point in going into it. “Any damage out at your farm?”

    “No. Not a thing.” He turned to gaze at the broken clinic. “Nothing like here.”

    He scrutinized the pile of brick, wood, and plaster where the clinic once stood. Smoke rose from the rubble where I spent last night watching a storm crush the walls, suck out the sheriff, and toss an IV stand into my brother.

    As I thought about the events of last night, a stream of four Air Force trucks rolled through and blocked the view.

    I motioned to the Charlie. “What are they doing back?”

    A patrol of blue airmen jumped off the trucks and marched over to the clinic. The airmen picked up debris and hauled it to a waiting Colonel Cox. A sergeant barked orders while he supervised. Every once in a while the colonel would stop the airmen hauling the debris. A man in a white coat joined him, and they to an interest in pieces of rock and sheet rock covered in frost.

    “Come on Jake. Let’s go look.” Charlie said from the open door.

    “You go on ahead Charlie. I need to figure out something first.”

    A bell chimed as Charlie left the diner, and he ambled over to the crowd watching the soldiers work. A few farmers stayed close to their eggs and couldn’t care about the crowd. I walked over to the storm cellar door and disappeared under the floor.

    Sally glanced at me before returning to cleaning the counter. She moved to help a few more customers eating their eggs. I thought to myself another day in tornado alley. Nothing, especially a tornado, could stop the folks of Pretty Prairie from moving on.

    Dan lay silent in the basement. I fumbled for a light switch and a fluorescent flickered to a shade of pale green. I inched over to the body and uncovered his face. He resembled a dead version of me.

    In the clinic, he told me he was my brother. The nose matched mine, but one thing bothered me. In the clinic, his eyes were brown. When I was a kid, Dan had blue eyes. So I decided to see.

    I lifted the lid of the right eye and it stared out into the room. The color of the eyeball was unnatural. Then I solved it. He was wearing contacts!

    I wet my finger with my tongue. It didn’t bother Dan that I was sticking my finger in his eye. He didn’t move, and so I was not as careful moving his head.

    I held the contact to my face and peered through the lens. There was a faint pattern around the edges. It was too light and I couldn’t be sure what I was seeing. I stuck the contact in.

    You know, thinking back, if others were around, I might have paused before sticking a contact lens from a dead guy in my eye. Something like that would not go unnoticed. I revolved around to make sure I was alone. The thought of wearing a dead man’s contact made me squeamish. Still, I needed to know what was going on, and lying there, Dan was in no position to offer any clues.

    I blinked a few times to settle the contact in place. It was a hard glass contact lens — not one of those plastic films — and it felt weird. I had to blink a few times to make sure it stayed in place.

    I opened my eye wide and focused on the far wall until a diamond pattern in four colors surrounding a center purple dot appeared. I blinked again to secure it in place.

    The pattern didn’t go away. I decided the glass contact was a key.

    The storm cellar door slammed shut, and I jumped away from Dan. The door swung up as I pulled the contact out of my eye.

    “Jake, you better get back up here. Charlie has started a riot.” Sally stood at the top of the stairs looking down into the basement. “Jake, you still down there?”

    “I think Charlie can fight for himself. Why would he start a riot?”

    “The airmen are trying to take the sheriff away and his family doesn’t want him to go. They say it’s for his own good. But the sheriff is a bloody mess, and it’s disrespectful to be taking a dead man away from his family.”

    “Just a sec.” I lifted Dan’s left eye and revealed another brown contact. It had a similar pattern. I lifted it up and cradled it in my left hand. Now I was juggling two contacts in my clinched hands and had nothing to carry them in.

    “Jake, it’s getting bad out there.” Sally insisted. I thought how funny it was how everyone needed to jump when she called.

    I set both contacts on Dan’s chest and searched for something to keep them safe. All I found was Dan’s wallet, an envelope, and an aspirin bottle buried deep in his pocket. I put both contacts in the bottle, shoved it and the other stuff in my pocket, and ran up the stairs.

    I spied a small riot taking place in front of the diner with soldiers on one side, farmers on the other, and Charlie holding them off with a pitchfork. He was standing beside a gurney covered in cloth and a leg sticking out. I assumed it was the body of the sheriff.

    I recognized the 4X4 and the football players from last night who were standing by the body like defenders. They were in a crouch and trying to defend the body as airmen closed in.

    An older woman comforted a crying girl while trying to hold back a militant third woman who was yelling at Colonel Cox. With no one to stop him, Charlie had set off his last stand. I rushed out the diner and into the street.

    “Whoa. Why do we seem to have the beginnings of World War III starting in the streets of Pretty Prairie? I think we need to calm down.” No one heard me.

    I never have trouble jumping into a fray and taking charge. As a kid, I was the one on the playground who set all the rules. My dad always told me to appear to be in charge and everyone else will follow your lead.

    Except this fight. This time, the colonel believed he was in charge. All I did was give him a new target.

    “Well, well, well, if it ain’t the guy who thinks my flag-burning scientist is a long, lost brother. Did you have a swell reunion?”

    I could taste the sarcasm and the whole crowd settled down to listen.

    The colonel pointed at the destruction of the clinic. “Your brother caused this, and he’s the only one who can put the genie back in the bottle.”

    I shook my head from side-to-side. “No, I don’t see how a flash of nature has anything to do with my brother.”

    “Oh no? Well, your brother not only created the tornado that tore up your clinic, but he scheduled it so he could escape. Now where is he?”

    I scuffed my shoe and glanced back at the diner. Colonel Cox followed my eye.

    “The weatherman’s in the diner. Go get him,” Colonel Cox bellowed. The airmen ran towards the diner.

    I thought about Dan’s silently lying in the diner and wondered how he went to Afghanistan a soldier and came back a climate-controlling mad man.

    Part One – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Two – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Three – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Four – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Five – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Six – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Seven – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Eight – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing
    Part Nine – Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing

    Read more: Jake Rutledge and the Guy With Bad Timing: Jake Rutledge and the Guy with Bad Timing – Part Five
  • Postmeridian Cynosure Reflected in Morning Light

    Postmeridian Cynosure Reflected in Morning Light

    Pink clouds reflect morning sunrise
    Above the mountain purple skies
    Reaching to touch the morning star
    A black ribbon afar
    Space touches the planet breath
    Then exhaling the night’s death

    We stir and sigh, the dreaming over
    Yet not wanting to rise, we turnover

    The morning light proclaims red skies take warning
    With a hint of moisture and storming
    Still the afternoon sun burns away the clouds
    To leave behind sticky shrouds
    Of summer’s blanketing heat
    The angry sun replete

    We whir and sigh, the workday over
    Longing to chase our postmeridian cynosure

    Waiting for buses and subways
    To take us to down highways
    While thunder claps and storms gather
    Wringing moisture into a lather
    Flinging down hail and rain
    We feel electricity in a vein

    We dance and cry, the thunderstorm over
    Shaking off raindrops, no need to take cover.

    Read more: Postmeridian Cynosure Reflected in Morning Light
  • A Loud Banging Drum

    A Loud Banging Drum

    She heard a loud drum beating a muffled beat above her head and she felt the mallet strike the soft spot on the crown. She tried to reach it, but the drum seemed so far away. Then she awoke. A water drop splashed a puddle over her eyes. She tried to wipe away the water but her hands were stuck below her.

    She panicked and kicked her legs. They failed to touch bottom and she realized she was dangling in a hole with her arms below her wedged into the rock. She was helpless and alone in the dark. Her helmet was behind her head. She must have fallen somehow. The moment she didn’t remember.

    She screamed for help. Her voice echoed against the walls of her prison until it faded. No light reached her. The lantern on her helmet started to flicker and went out. She now hung in the dark, the water dripping in a slow rhythm. She closed her eyes. The loud banging drum returned.

    Read more: A Loud Banging Drum
  • Smooth as Silk

    Smooth as Silk

    Preacher Ashton delivered the scripture from Isaiah in a hushed whisper and ended it with a thunder clap. Mom shook her head in agreement while I hung on every word. Aunt Margaret said the preacher was smooth as silk, but I just thought he spoke from the heart.

    Mom shook her head again and slapped down her fan on the pew back. I held on to the words until Aunt Margaret said “Amen.” Then we flipped through the hymnal and sang “What a friend we have in Jesus” and Tom Clatcher started swaying in rhythm with the choir. He rocked and clapped and Sister Josephina joined in and everyone swayed back and forth. Mom stood up and pulled me up too. We stood in the pew singing with the choir and shouting out “Amen” at the end of the hymn.

    I walked out of the chapel feeling happy and uplifted. Preacher Ashton took my hand and squeezed it gently. Mom pushed me toward him. He winked. I blushed and looked away. Aunt Margaret tuned up the corner of her mouth and shook her head. She turned and walked down the sidewalk. Mom and me followed Aunt Margaret. I turned back to Preacher Ashton. He smugly smiled and winked again.

    Read more: Smooth as Silk