Conversations My Craft

Plan for World Domination

A Conversation “That’s interesting.” “What is?” “This video on stem cells.” “How so?” “It says we can convert fat cells into stem cells and rebuild our bodies.” “Figures.” “You sound like you already knew this.” “No. But it all makes sense now.” [bctt tweet=”The plan for world domination. It all started in the 50s with Americans eating too much.”] “How so?” “The plan for world domination. It all started in the 50s with Americans eating…

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Conversations My Craft

Take a Bath, Already!

A Conversation “I trained all of them. Just put your nose under the big top so you can see.” “There’s no big top. Just a bunch of dirty hair.” “Humor me; if you dig in there you can see the center of the tent. That’s where they perform.” “I can’t get past the smell. You need a bath.” “Forget about me. Focus on the stage.” “I see them. They’re all just sort of sitting there.”…

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Conversations

The Document is Incomplete

A Conversation “Do you have page 30 of the A-239 form?” “It should be right there.” “I don’t see it.” “Well, it was there when I brought it in.” “Without page 30 I cannot accept this.” “Look again.” “Listen sir, without the page the document is incomplete.” “You didn’t look.” “It’s missing sir.” “I don’t think so. Look again.” “It would do no good to look again. The paper is clearly missing.” “Give them to…

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Conversations

I Don’t Think That is What You Meant to Say

A Conversation “I mean, it literally caused me to boil over in hives.” “Your whole body?” “Yes, literally.” “Do you have pictures?” “As a matter of fact, I do.” “Wow. I thought you meant figuratively. That’s a bad case of hives.” “I know. I literally scratched myself to death.” Thanks for reading. Leave me a comment? Other Writings You May Like That’s a Wrap What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate Knight Approaches…

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Conversations

Coconut Macaroons

A Conversation “Have you ever noticed the more you chew the bigger the bite expands in your mouth?” “What do you mean?” “I’ve been chewing this cookie forever and it just seems to get bigger.” “Take smaller bites.” “I tried that already.” “Stop eating the cookie.” “But it is so good.” “No, seriously. Stop!” “Wha do ya mean?” “I think you’re allergic.” “I ben eatin cocont my wole li.” “Call 9-1-1. This coconut macaroon is…

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Conversations

You’re a Yellow-Bellied Marmot

A Conversation “You’re yella’.” “I’m not yellow. I just don’t want to fight you.” “Yella’, yella’, yella’” “I’m just going to ignore you.” “Like you could, you yellow-bellied marmot.” “I saw one of those once.” “What?” “A yellow-bellied marmot. Just standing there on a rock.” “Probably looked a lot like you.” “Not really.” “All pudgy-faced and full of fear.” “Actually, it yawned.” “You probably bored it with your pudgy face.” “I think it had better…

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Conversations My Craft

Scouting for the Cook

The lieutenant’s horse swung in close to the Scout. He pulled up and stopped. Dust blew behind him. The Scout chewed on a blade of grass. “Report Scout. What are we chasing?” Scout twisted the grass in his mouth moving it from one side to the other. He paused and pointed. “See that butte?” The lieutenant covered his eyes from the sun. “Yes. Is that the hideout?” “No.” A silence hung between the men. Scout…

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Conversations

The Perils of the Whiteboard

A Conversation “Let me draw it out for you.” “Careful, I used a Sharpie on the whiteboard.” “Let me try it.” “I’m just warning you.” “Yep, it’s an erasable pen.” “Are you sure?” “I just wiped it clean.” “Okay, but it’s a pain in the ass to get off.” “It’ll be fine.” “If you say so.” “We have this big pie.” “Yes.” “And we’ll color this slice red.” “Uh huh.” “And the rest blue.” “There’s…

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Conversations

Just Take a Little Bite

A Conversation “I picked it fresh myself.” “It looks too red.” “The best things often look better than they are.” “And it seems a bit too shiny.” “I polished it up.” “Plus, I don’t see an apple tree around here.” “I found it at the apple tree outside the church.” “You were at church?” “I made confessional.” “And your swore off your sins?” “Most of them. A few I kept to myself.” “The priest let…

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Conversations

What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate

A Conversation “I took off work to be here.” “But the parties settled Friday.” “Its Monday. Why didn’t you call me?” “Did you get a text?” “No.” “Did you get an email?” “No.” “Did you call the system?” “Yes.” “Well, then you should have known we didn’t need you for jury duty.” “I only got a busy signal.” “So?” “You realize you’re phone system was broken all weekend?” “Yes, we’re working on that.”    …

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